The A.V. Club has this brilliant feature called Hate Song in which they "ask our favorite musicians, writers, comedians, actors, and so forth to expound on the one song they hate most in the world." Yeah, I know, right? And it is just as amazing as masturbating to a hate fuck fantasy in which you are the one who is hated.
I have a multitude of Hate Songs (far fewer hate fucks, thankfully), but there is one song that I literally want to run screaming from the room every time it comes on. And that is Digital Underground's "Humpty Dance". I can't even.
I don't remember the first time I heard it, but I know that when I lived in Asheville, NC and regularly attended 80's Night on Wednesdays at Broadways that I always left the dance floor when this horse shit came on. It makes me angry to even think about.
I didn't even know most of the lyrics until just now when I looked them up. This dude is actually kind of funny - a complete misogynist, but funny. Seriously, the sound of this song immediately draws a scowl to my face and I can't help but send a stink eye to whence it came.
If I ever get married and have a DJ at the party, if he played this song (or anything by The Jackson Five), I would probably rip the very expensive veil out of my hair and choke him with it.