In a dramatic turn from Tuesday's SoftD, today I felt compelled to listen to George Michael's epic album Faith. Specifically, 'Father Figure'. Like any good late 80's album, Faith is both overly-dramatic and fantastic, sexy yet serious, and full of lyrical quests for love and identity. George Michael seems to want to both teach and to be taught, and somehow the synthesizers blend in naturally with the soft, strong sound of his voice.
In the late 80s and early 90s, George Michael ruled the MTV scene. Around that time I discovered that my taste in music was as much influenced by my need to rebel as my need to understand who or what I was rebelling against and why. Like most teenage girls, I spent my time filled with angst; anxious to hurry on through the process of being a child to being an adult, and reign in my emotional and sexual state of mind. On top of that, I had to let go of the main man in my life, my Dad, in order to make room for the men I would eventually date and love.
It was a long and arduous process, and I spent years thinking I hated my Dad - writing countless, candlelit journal entries about it. When I discovered 'Father Figure', I wasn't trying to replace my father, but rather I envisioned being taken in by a man and taken care of. Ironically, much like my dad had been doing for years.
Maybe it's way too Freudian, but understanding George Michael's use of the term 'father figure' as an allegory for his hunt to find the kind of love and support you would have in that relationship, but this time in your lover sort of blew my mind. I'd like to think that my tiny hand will fit into his, whoever he may be, without having to bring my Dad into it, but let's get real. Every man I will ever date will inevitably have to contend with the fact that I've spent most of my life understanding men through understanding my Dad. Sorry ladies, but there it is. I'm even so much like him that I could be a goddamn father figure if someone needed me to be. But I digress. Get back to George Michael, and try not to think about Michael Cera when you do so.